Written by Stan Kuliavas

To each of the executives reading this: Allow me to paint a picture.

You’re in a meeting, perhaps closing an important deal or clearing time to engage in a healthy, strategic debate on a new direction for your business. The presentation of this deal is facilitated by a trusted colleague, and the facts presented by them are clear, convincing, and strong. As time unfolds, however, you begin to notice a shift in the room. The debate isn’t as productive as it could be, and some colleagues even seem uncomfortable. After a time – and a few nonverbal cues – you begin to understand that your trusted colleague isn’t listening. It’s never easy to navigate, and even harder to correct.

But here’s my question: How do we ensure that we, the executive members in the room, are?

A study conducted by Howick Associates in Wisconsin found that people typically spend seven of every 10 minutes in the day communicating with others. Just imagine how much of that time is lost if we’re not listening properly?

As someone who has spent the majority of their career in the world of sales, relationships are the foundation of my business. I believe it’s important that when I’m with a client, I not only give them a thorough explanation of the products they may want, but that I also make the time to listen: keeping my enthusiasm and passion for aviation in check while prioritizing their needs and desired experience. It’s easy to get lost in the passion of an idea, instead of maintaining an awareness of the relationships around us. And it’s funny, too – In hindsight, it’s the information you obtain while listening that truly shapes a discussion. To me, that is where the true value lies.

If you think of listening as a passive activity, it’s likely that you’re doing it wrong. There’s a huge difference between hearing and listening, and once we uncover this truth, it’s easy to observe ourselves doing the former with painful frequency. Hearing – perceiving sounds but not truly digesting their significance – is something I catch myself doing while allowing myself to sit in the space of “waiting to respond” vs. remaining present in the interaction. Listening is an active skill that requires compassion, vulnerability and empathy – and once unlocked, I feel it is the key to true success in any field.

One of the best listeners I have ever observed was the CEO of a fast-growing PR firm. She once explained that she couldn’t run an operation as multifaceted as an agency without seeking input from people at all levels of the company – from her senior team to the one-off freelancer. Part of what made her so effective, and so appealing as a manager, was that she let everyone around her know she believed each of them had something unique to contribute. The respect she showed them was reciprocated, and it helped fuel an environment where good ideas could flourish.

To further this point, I’ll reference a compelling study conducted by the University of Minnesota. After running a series of tests, it was found that most people remember only half of what they hear immediately following a conversation. Just 50%! It’s also worth noting that this study was conducted in 1957; a time far before technology and its impressive ability to derail our focus. It seems that it’s always been difficult for the human brain to focus on one voice without thinking about the next thing we’re going to contribute to the conversation. Luckily, however, once we know better, we can do better.

Whether it’s speaking with your colleagues, employees, or customers, take a moment to really listen to what they are saying. Even better, go one step further and seek out opportunities to let someone else speak. If you want to know what your customer wants, ask them. Not only will this make people feel valued, but it will also help you ask better questions and get to the root cause of a critical issue much more efficiently. My two cents.

This advice – though certainly valuable for the bottom-line – doesn’t just apply externally. As a leader, the best thing you can do for your team is to listen. Listen to their ideas, criticisms and critiques. Because after all; The best relationships are those that go both ways.